{"id":4582,"date":"2008-04-09T12:05:00","date_gmt":"2008-04-09T12:05:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/localhost\/projects\/horsesforsources\/cost-cutting-measures-for-troubled-companies-in-these-tough-economic-times\/"},"modified":"2008-04-09T12:05:00","modified_gmt":"2008-04-09T12:05:00","slug":"cost-cutting-measures-for-troubled-companies-in-these-tough-economic-times","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.horsesforsources.com\/cost-cutting-measures-for-troubled-companies-in-these-tough-economic-times\/","title":{"rendered":"Cost-cutting measures for troubled companies in these tough economic times"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Costcut\"In these troubling economic times, most firms are tightening their belts to keep those unnecessary costs down while we look to ride out this recession.  I used to charge $500\/hour for dishing out this kind of advice, but I thought I’d give out some cost-cutting tips to Horses-readers as a gesture of economic goodwill:<\/span><\/p>\n

1) Make all your senior managers and sales people fly Northworst<\/a>.  You’ll be amazed at how many of those "critical" business trips go away….<\/p>\n

2) Reduce the "on the road" food budget to $30 a day.  (Makes everyone order pizza to their rooms, rather than those terrible room service burgers);<\/p>\n

3) Enforce a zero-tolerance policy on alcohol products to be expensed.  This will automatically reduce 25-50% from your bottom-line.  (Better than any outsourcing initative);<\/p>\n

4) Send all your lowest performers on Six Sigma certification<\/a> training.  They’ll either disappear from your payroll completely, or have a complete epiphany and start delivering the goods;<\/p>\n

5) Seek out the cheapest, most desperate outsourcing service provider you can find and get them to take on all your messed-up HR, finance, procurement and customer service processes.  Hire a razor sharp sourcing attorney to include performance-levels you would never have dreamed possible – and which you would never have ever reached yourself in a million years.  Wait one year, do nothing, and they are guaranteed to have missed every single performance metric.  Now you can sue them for a small fortune for lost revenues that you would never have made in the first place.  Genious; <\/p>\n

6) Sign a corporate deal with Red-roof Inn<\/a> for any off-plan sales reps.  There is no better way to improve performance;<\/p>\n

7) Completely refocus your entire business strategy on producing mind-numbing facebook applications<\/a>.  You can’t go wrong, trust me.<\/p>\n

\"Rr\" ‘<\/span><\/p>\n

Time to look at new means to lower those corporate costs<\/em> -:)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In these troubling economic times, most firms are tightening their belts to keep those unnecessary costs down while we look…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[46],"tags":[],"organization":[],"ppma_author":[19],"class_list":["post-4582","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-absolutely-meaningless-comedy"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nCost-cutting measures for troubled companies in these tough economic times - Horses for Sources | No Boundaries<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.horsesforsources.com\/cost-cutting-measures-for-troubled-companies-in-these-tough-economic-times\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta 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